| Reginald's Peace Poem by H. H. (Saki) Munro|
|
|
| |
| |
"I'm writing a poem on Peace," said Reginald, emerging from a sweeping operation through a tin of mixed biscuits, in whose depths a macaroon or two might yet be lurking. |
|
| |
"Something of the kind seems to have been attempted already," said the Other. |
|
| |
"Oh, I know; but I may never have the chance again. Besides, I've got a new fountain pen. I don't pretend to have gone on any very original lines; in writing about Peace the thing is to say what everybody else is saying, only to say it better. It begins with the usual ornithological emotion - |
|
| |
'When the widgeon westward winging Heard the folk Vereeniginging, Heard the shouting and the singing'" - |
|
| |
"Vereeniginging is good, but why widgeon?" |
|
| |
"Why not? Anything that winged westward would naturally begin with a W." |
|
| |
|
|
| |
"The bird must go somewhere. You wouldn't have it hang around and look foolish. Then I've brought in something about the heedless hartebeest galloping over the deserted veldt." |
|
| |
"Of course you know it's practically extinct in those regions?" |
|
| |
"I can't help that, it gallops so nicely. I make it have all sorts of unexpected yearnings - |
|
| |
'Mother, may I go and maffick, Tear around and hinder traffic?' |
|
| |
Of course you'll say there would be no traffic worth bothering about on the bare and sun-scorched veldt, but there's no other word that rhymes with maffick." |
|
| |
|
|
| |
Reginald considered. "It might do, but I've got a lot about angels later on. You must have angels in a Peace poem; I know dreadfully little about their habits." |
|
| |
"They can do unexpected things, like the hartebeest." |
|
| |
"Of course. Then I turn on London, the City of Dreadful Nocturnes, resonant with hymns of joy and thanksgiving - |
|
| |
'And the sleeper, eye unlidding, Heard a voice for ever bidding Much farewell to Dolly Gray; Turning weary on his truckle- Bed he heard the honey-suckle Lauded in apiarian lay.' |
|
| |
Longfellow at his best wrote nothing like that." |
|
| |
|
|
| |
"I wish you wouldn't. I've a sweet temper, but I can't stand being agreed with. And I'm so worried about the aasvogel." |
|
| |
Reginald stared dismally at the biscuit-tin, which now presented an unattractive array of rejected cracknels. |
|
| |
"I believe," he murmured, "if I could find a woman with an unsatisfied craving for cracknels, I should marry her." |
|
| |
"What is the tragedy of the aasvogel?" asked the Other sympathetically. |
|
| |
"Oh, simply that there's no rhyme for it. I thought about it all the time I was dressing--it's dreadfully bad for one to think whilst one's dressing--and all lunch-time, and I'm still hung up over it. I feel like those unfortunate automobilists who achieve an unenviable motoriety by coming to a hopeless stop with their cars in the most crowded thoroughfares. I'm afraid I shall have to drop the aasvogel, and it did give such lovely local colour to the thing." |
|
| |
"Still you've got the heedless hartebeest." |
|
| |
"And quite a decorative bit of moral admonition--when you've worried the meaning out - |
|
| |
'Cease, War, thy bubbling madness that the wine shares, And bid thy legions turn their swords to mine shares.' |
|
| |
Mine shares seems to fit the case better than ploughshares. There's lots more about the blessings of Peace, shall I go on reading it?" |
|
| |
"If I must make a choice, I think I would rather they went on with the war." |
|
| |